Chapter 8: College, Leeches and Wolves. Issues? What Issues?

Author's Note: Because I had a hard time trying to get into Jacob's head, I had a couple of pre-readers for this chapter. Thanks to tayjayfan and Kraftychik for their help on this! :D

(JPOV)

There was an annoying pounding in my head that just wouldn’t go away. Groaning, I yanked my pillow over my head and sighed when it seemed to help lessen the discomfort. Just as I was about to drift back to sleep, the pounding started up again.

Well, damn. That’s what I get for going to sleep upset. I thought.

I remembered crawling into my bed, feeling miserable over seeing my mom’s photographs while wishing Bella was with me. Because of that, I had spent the night tossing and turning, trying to keep more misery from dragging me down any more than it already had. I’d been so frustrated at one point that I’d wondered if taking a whole bottle of sleeping pills would work against that oh-so-fabulous wolf gene of mine.

In the end, I’d managed to get some sleep, but now with this pounding, it looked like sleep was once more a passing dream.

“Jacob?” came a faint voice, which suddenly made me realize that the pounding had stopped. “Jacob, are you home? I can see your bike and car out here.”

I sat up with a start at the sound of Bella’s voice. Bella was here! She was outside my front door, calling for me!

Scrambling out of the sheets, I hurried out of the bed, nearly tripping in the process. Growling at the edge of the sheet that was still wrapped around my ankle, I called out to her.

“I’m coming, Bella! Give me a sec!”

Again I could hear her faint voice. “Okay.”

I yanked the sheet away from my ankle and shoved it back onto the bed before grabbing a pair of shorts and a shirt from the dresser. Rushing into the bathroom, I began putting my clothes on with one hand while trying to run my fingers through my hair, then brushed my teeth with the other hand.

Yeah, ambidextrous is me.

As I ran through the living room, I glanced at the clock to see that it was almost 12:30 in the afternoon. 12:30? Geez, only Bella would think that was a late enough time to wake someone like me up!

Without even thinking about it, I yanked the front door open and grinned at Bella, so happy that she was there. It wasn’t until I realized that she wasn’t looking up at me that my smile started to fade. I could hear my dad’s wheelchair coming down the hallway, so I held up a finger to Bella, to tell her to wait a moment before going to meet my dad.

“Hey,” I greeted him as he rolled into the living room, “I’m gonna go to the garage for a little bit, you need me to do anything before I go?”

Dad’s eyes moved to the door for a moment before returning to mine. He gave me an understanding smile before shaking his head. “I’m good, son. You go on ahead.”

“Okay, well holler if you need me, I’ll hear you.”

He waved me off as he wheeled himself into the kitchen, nodding at Bella along the way with an, “Afternoon, Bella.”

I waited until he was in the kitchen before motioning to Bella to follow me to the garage. As we walked along in silence, I could see her hands fiddling with the bottom of the light jacket she wore. It was cold enough outside that it would affect her, but my higher-than-normal body temperature made me feel as if I should have worn a wife-beater instead of the t-shirt I was wearing.

Once we were inside the garage, I went to the workbench where I kept all of my tools, picking up a wrench, trying to look busy in order to give Bella some time to get herself together. The awkward silence stretched between us for a few, long moments before I finally heard her sigh.

“Jacob, I’m…” she paused as I turned around to face her, the wrench still in my hand. I watched her shuffle from side to side for a few moments as she bit her bottom lip in nervousness.

Suddenly, I was totally focused on that lip, forgetting for the moment that we were at odds with each other. She had no idea what that lip-biting did to me…well, if she was looking at the front of my shorts, I’m sure she would. After all, I did tell her that I was a hormonal teenage guy, come on now!

I was in the process of licking my own lip when her voice broke through my musings.

“Jake? Did you hear what I said?”

I blinked. “Huh?”

She blushed, then swallowed before trying again. “Um, I wanted…I mean, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I was so…defensive towards you yesterday. After you left, I thought about everything that was said, and I realized I was a little mean to you.”

I dropped the wrench back on the bench before I walked over to sit on one of the crates that I used as chairs in the garage. Sitting down, I ran a hand through my hair, trying to collect my thoughts.

Bella sat down on the crate next to mine with a sigh. “Look, I just wanted to come make some things clear because I don’t like leaving things as they are. I want you to know that I do want to go to college, but not for another year at least. I need time to save up some money so that I can afford to go. Mom and dad are lending me some, but I still need more, so I figured I would work another year first.”

I nodded. “Right, but you quit working at Newton’s.”

“Yeah, because of Victoria. I was sort of hoping she would go away by the time I could find another job that could pay me more than Newton’s could, plus I wanted the new job to do more with whatever I was going to college for.”

She stopped talking long enough to give me a lop-sized grin. “Wishful thinking, huh?”

I shrugged. “Not really, we all want the lee…I mean, the Victoria problem to go away already. She’s annoying the hel…heck out of us.”

I saw her grin widen at my near slip ups, but I continued on. “So, what exactly are you going to college for?”

“I dunno, really. I’m thinking I might take some business courses…or maybe major in literature. I still have a year to figure it out, I guess.”

“Okay,” I nodded, before asking a question I’ve been dreading the answer to. “Have you thought about…I mean, do you have any particular colleges in mind?”

Again she gave a shrug. “Honestly, right now I’m not really looking forward to leaving the Forks area, especially if Victoria remains at large. But I also like being close to Charlie and home. I’ve only been here a couple of years and I’m not ready to leave yet. So maybe I’ll look into one of the local colleges if I can.”

I didn’t say anything for a few moments as I thought back to the conversation Embry and I had the day after I had gotten back from Florida. He had seen the problem in my mind as we were patrolling after school. As soon as he realized what the problem was, he told me there could be a simple solution to it. Once he had explained it all to me, then took me to the library the next day to show me online, I knew I had to tell Bella about this.

Now was as good a time as any. “Bells, did you know you could probably just take all of your college courses online without ever having to leave Forks?” When her head snapped up to look at me, I knew I had her. “Embry told me a little about it and even showed some of it to me online when we were at the library. He says it’s really easy to do and lots of people are finding it more convenient to take courses online instead of sitting in a classroom miles away from home.”

Her eyes were so wide in amazement by the time I was done. “Really? How does that work exactly?”

I couldn’t help but smile at her sudden curiosity. “I’m still a little clueless about this, but if you want, I could get Embry to meet with us later. He’s really good at computers and he knows a lot about this online college thing. He could really help you out, Bells. He said he wouldn’t mind talking to you about it.”

I waited for her to say something, watching as she chewed on her lip as she thought about it. Secretly, I was prepared to beg her to see Embry about the online courses since it would be a way for her to stay in Forks. Yeah, so I was trying to use any means necessary to keep Bella from leaving. Who could really blame me? I’d do anything to keep the girl I loved at my side, even if it seemed a little underhanded.

Finally she nodded. “You know, Jake, I think I’d like to meet with Embry. I’m definitely curious to see if there’s a way that I could stay home and take college courses through the internet. I know Charlie would love it too.”

I didn’t stop the smile from spreading over my face. “Really? That’s great! Um, I’ll talk to Embry while we’re patrolling this afternoon and then I’ll give you a call to set up some time to get together. I’m pretty sure he’ll want to meet at your house, so he can show you what to do on your computer. He’ll want to get you set up so you can browse on your own later.”

Bella nodded. “That will work. Tell him thanks for doing this for me, okay?”

“Sure, sure.”

We lapsed into silence once more while I tried to figure out just how to go about bringing up the subject of our relationship without sending her running again. I knew I wanted to talk to her about it until she finally relented and realized that I meant every word I had told her so far.

I was still trying to figure out how to start the conversation, when she suddenly spoke up. “Jake? Um, I was just wondering. I mean, I understand if you can’t tell me anymore, but I was wondering if there were anymore wolf…things that you haven’t told me about yet? You know, besides…imprinting.”

I shrugged. “Not really. I think you know pretty much everything by now. I mean, you know about the extra strength we have, even in human form. I can run faster and my senses are better than normal humans.”

“Even in human form?”

“Yep. I can smell and hear things about a mile away. That’s why I always told you I would know when Charlie was on his way home, with my superior senses, he can’t sneak up on me.”

She smirked at me. “Must be nice to always be able to win at games like hide-n-seek.”

I chuckled. “Sure, sure. I’d also probably win every relay race I enter, unless it was against another wolf.”

Her smirk turned into a grin. “Yeah right, cheater.”

“What? It’s the truth! Not that I’d do it, but it’s possible. Anyway, besides our enhanced senses and the speed, we can also heal faster than humans. That’s not to say we can’t be injured severely, because we can. But if I got a cut or a bruise, for instance, it would be gone within a few hours.”

Her eyes went wide. “No way! Ugh, must be nice not to have to go to the hospital all the time.”

I wiggled my eyebrows at her. “Hey! I’d give anything to be fussed over by one of those nurses in a little white uniform.”

She gasped. “Jake! You are so bad!”

I shrugged. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

She shook her head at my immaturity before saying. “Okay, so anything else about being a wolf that I should know?”

I sighed. “Well, I know you noticed how we all look older than we are.”

“Yeah, not to mention that you went from scrawny, klutzy kid to buff god overnight.”

I smirked at her.

She blinked. “What?”

“Buff god huh? Shall I get half-naked so you can admire my physique some more?”

She blushed as she rolled her eyes. “Really Jacob! Stop changing the subject!”

“What for? I happen to like this topic. Hello! Hormonal teenage boy here!” I said while pointing at myself.

She waved her hands around in a flustered way. “Jake, can we just get back on track? What is it about your age that you have to tell me about?”

I was still smiling over her actions. She was so adorable when she was flustered and embarrassed. “Okay, well when we first begin phasing, our bodies tend to mature until we look like we’re somewhere in our mid-twenties. Once we hit that point, we stop aging, staying that way so long as we continue to phase. So we never get older again until we let go of our wolf, so to speak. Once we make that choice, we can’t be a wolf again and our body begins to age like normal.”

She frowned. “Are you saying that if you continue to phase for the next twenty years, you’ll still look the same as you do now? That even though you will be around thirty-seven, you’ll still look around twenty-five?”

I nodded. “Yeah, if I stop phasing when I’m fifty, I’ll still look twenty-five. But once I stop phasing, I’ll start aging.”

“Geez! So you’ll be a fifty-year-old in the body of a twenty-five year old? How long would that last then?”

“I think, from what we understand, once we stop phasing, our bodies will just naturally begin to age again. It won’t be like we go to bed looking twenty-five and wake up looking fifty. It’ll be a gradual process.”

She threw her hands up in exasperation. “Oh great! So being a wolf just adds longevity to your life. How is it fair that you get to live longer than normal humans?’

I scowled at her. “Bella, it’s not like I chose this, remember?”

She huffed as she folded her arms over her chest. “Yeah, yeah, I know.” She shook her head. “I’m not upset about that. Not really. I mean, there was a time when I thought I wanted to be seventeen forever, but not anymore.”

When she suddenly paused, I glanced up at her to see that she appeared to be thinking hard about something. Then she sighed before finishing her thought. “But then I thought about who I would leave behind if I never grew old, how awkward and sad I would feel, you know? I realized that to do something like that, I would have to tell lies and keep secrets, things that would not only hurt others, but would hurt me in the long run.

I just knew I didn’t want to do that to the people that mattered…like Charlie…or…or you. I just knew that there was so much I still wanted to do that I wouldn’t be able to do if I…if I…”

I reached out and took her hand in mine, hoping she wouldn’t pull away. When she didn’t, I gave it a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay, Bells. I know what you mean. I don’t like the fact that I could outlive everyone either, so I’m hoping I won’t have to remain a wolf for long.”

She looked up at me with a grateful smile. “Yeah, but at least the reason why you are a wolf is a very noble one.”

When I saw the look of pride in her eyes, I knew she meant what she said. She didn’t resent me for the things I could do because I was a wolf. Yet she understood the sacrifices I was making, she understood there was both a good and bad side to it.

Once again, I was so grateful that I could share my world with her, with my best friend. With that thought, I remembered Renee’s gift.

“Oh! Wait a sec! I have something to show you! Be right back!”

Before she could say anything, I rushed out of the garage and into my house. My dad was watching television as I flew by, but he didn’t even look up as I continued to my room. I picked up the photo album from where it was still laying on the floor by my bed, then rushed back out to the garage.

Bella was still sitting where I’d left her, eyes flitting around the area. When I entered, she looked at me, waiting as I sat back down next to her.

I gave her a smile as I said, “I finally unpacked last night and found your mom’s gift to me. I thought it’d be nice to show it to you.”

With that, I handed the album to her, waiting for her reaction to it. I watched as she opened the cover to see the words written there. Then she began to flip through the pages of the photos of my mom. She gasped a few times over some of them or smiled wistfully at others.

Yet, by the time she was done looking through it all, I could see the shine in her eyes. It took her a few moments to gather herself together before she reached out her hand to take mine.

Giving my hand a squeeze, she smiled at me. “I had no idea Renee even had these, Jake, but I’m glad she gave them to you.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m glad too. I just…I wanted to share it with you so we could remember together, you know.”

I took the book from her, found the picture of us playing in the yard and showed it to her with a smile. “See the look on mom’s face? Even she knew we’d always be friends.”

Bella gave a soft chuckle. “Hm, probably because I’m the only one who made mud pies for you to eat.”

I grinned. “I guess I knew someday you would make the kind we can really eat.”

Our eyes met over the album and we shared a secret smile. Memories of our lives together passed between us. I could feel that thread strengthening some more. This time, I couldn’t deny it, so I lifted my hand to caress her cheek.

“I miss you, Bells,” I whispered.

She closed her eyes with a swift intake of breath, but after a moment she leaned into my hand. I started to smile until she pulled away with a shake of her head.

“Jake…”

“Bells,” I interrupted, “Can you just hear me out? Please?”

She sighed as she looked up into my eyes, “Go ahead.”

I curled my fingers with hers, still keeping my gaze locked with hers. “I don’t want to lose you, Bella. We’ve been friends for too long.”

She was nodding, which meant she agreed with me. I stopped long enough for her to add her comment. “I feel the same way, Jake. I miss being your friend. I liked that we could talk so easily with each other, that you always knew what I was thinking.”

I smiled wider. “Yeah, I like that too, but there’s more to us than that. Our being close friends, it’s the basis of our relationship, but we are so much more than that.”

She began to frown, so I continued. “Remember when I told you that I would never hurt you? That night we went to see the movie? I meant it then and I mean it now. I wish I could tell you why I know it’s true. Why I know I’ll never hurt you or leave you. Whatever this is between us, it’s strong. Stronger than any mythical voodoo shit that’s out there. All I can say is that you have to trust me. It’s not just me that feels this way. My wolf feels it too.”

She stared at me as if I were speaking in Quileute. “Your wolf feels what too?”

“Whatever this connection is between us. It’s not just me telling you how I feel, Bells. My wolf feels the same way about you as I do.”

She shook her head. “Jake, I don’t understand.”

“I know you don’t and I’m trying my best to explain it, it’s just hard.”

She looked up at me as I begged her with my eyes, not to contradict me. She wasn’t listening. “Listen Jake, maybe…maybe we should just keep being best friends. We’ve never had a problem with that at least.”

I gaped at her. “What? Have you not been listening to me?”

“Yes, but…”

“Bella, I can’t go back to being just friends! I can’t! Why can’t you try to understand this? My wolf doesn’t want to be just your friend either. You are all he sees. You’re it for us. You’re all we could ever want.”

By this time, I was on my feet, so I grabbed her by her upper arms and pulled her to my chest. “Whatever this is, it’s stronger than an imprint will ever be. And the more I’m with you, the stronger it gets. I want you. My wolf wants you! We are both so in love with you and we don’t want to let you go!”

It took everything in me to resist shaking some sense into her because both my wolf and me were getting so worked up. We wanted her to believe us, to trust that we were telling her the truth.

We needed her, badly.

I watched as she swallowed before she spoke hoarsely. “J-Jake, how can anything be stronger than an imprint? I don’t…understand, is there something else?”

“No, it just is Bella! How can you look at me and not see what you mean to me? How can you not know how much I want you? I know you feel something for me, just like I feel it for you! You want me too!”

With that, I lowered my lips to hers, kissing her the way my wolf and I wanted to. It wasn’t the tentative, sweet kind of kisses we normally shared. No, this was a hungry kiss, one that devoured her mouth. I was prepared for her to struggle and she did, but only for a moment and then she was responding with as much fervor as I was.

I felt her arms folding around my shoulders as I pulled her body flush with mine. Lifting her slightly, I crushed her to me and continued to ravish her mouth. My wolf wasn’t in the mood to be gentle anymore.

He wanted to make a point.

So my mouth began to feed from hers, drawing in the sweet taste that was all Bella. I was kissing her hard, with such savage ferocity that it made me worry for a moment that I was being too rough on her. At least that was until I heard her moan, then she tightened her grip on my shoulders and wrapped her legs around my waist.

Her reaction made me growl as I let my tongue come into play. Thrusting it inside of her mouth, I plundered her like I was a starving man. Her taste only heightened the voracious appetite of my wolf side, making us look for something to push her up against so we could continue to have our way with her.

I took a few steps until she was caught between the wall and my body. Once she was trapped, I pulled my lips from hers. My wolf and I couldn’t help but grin in satisfaction to see the heavy flush on her cheeks, as well as the way she pulled in great gulps of air through her mouth.

As her breasts pressed against my chest with every deep breath, I growled at her. “Lie to me, Bella. Tell me that you don’t feel anything for me. Tell me that you don’t want me!”

Her eyes went wide as she realized that I knew the truth, that this time, she couldn’t get away from me.

“Well?” I growled.

She swallowed. “I…Jake…”

I growled again before kissing her once more. This time, I made my way down to her neck, sucking on the skin where her neck and shoulder met.

She whimpered and I knew that meant she was aroused because that special smell reached my nose. I growled as I took in a deep breath, before whispering in her ear. “I. Can. Smell. You.”

She shivered, letting me know that she understood what I meant.

I took a few more deep breaths, drawing her scent into my body, but at the same time trying to back my wolf away from wanting to take her completely. Slowly, I set her back on her feet, all the while keeping her gaze locked with mine.

When I finally stepped back from her, just enough to give her some space, I spoke again. “Now do you understand?”

She let out a little sigh, but nodded her head reluctantly. “Yeah,” she replied, her voice sounding shaky.

I stared at her for a few moments, letting my wolf calm down a little more. Finally, I lifted a hand to gently brush a strand of hair behind her ear. “Bells, I love you. Just give us a chance, okay? Stay with me. Let me be yours.”

She bit her bottom lip and I groaned. Putting my forehead against hers, I closed my eyes. I could still feel her reluctance.

“Will you at least try? Please?”

“Yes,” came her hushed response. “Yes, Jake. I’ll try.”

I sighed. “You’ll be mine, right?” I asked, making sure she understood exactly what I was asking for. “We’ll keep dating like we have been. We’ll keep letting things progress like they were before I told you about imprinting.”

“Yes,” she repeated, a little stronger than before.

I cupped her face in my hands, this time laying a quick, tender kiss against her lips. “Good,” I whispered.

She looked up at me and smiled, making me smile in return.

Inside of me, my wolf preened.